Miss Spider (Charlotte)’s Neighborhood

Just look at this mess !!

Look

I, for one, am apalled.

Appalled

Where is he ??

Where ??

Where's The Pig ??!!!

We The Free

It's Day 3 of 2010, Day 3 of the rest of our lives. For a lot of folks, me included, 2009 was a really rough road to travel. I personally could not remember a time in my life when I had lost so much, and felt so uncertain about the future. Well, that was then and this is NOW! I think that many people are embracing the sense of positive change that awaits us in this new decade. Today, I think that most of us just want to brush the dust off our shoulders and solider on to whatever challenges are right up that road. It's 2010, are you ready, willing, and able? I'm betting you are. I'm betting we all are.

As I get ready to go wander the streets of Chicago, on this 1 degree day with a -15 wind chill, I happy, HAPPY that I woke up in a place that still holds the hope of a better & brighter tomorrow for us all. We still have to deal with the realities of a weak economy, wars and rumors of war, the shadow of terrorism, and God only knows what else that might blindside us at 3:00am, but I think we can handle it. I am not only looking forward to what adventures this day holds for me, but also what lay behind Door No.2 on Tomorrow. I happy that I'm still alive and still free to realize the American Dream, however it may have changed over the last ten years. I'm gonna try and live my life as best I can, and try too be the best person I can be. I encourage everyone, EVERYONE I know to try and do something, anything, that will make their lives better in 2010 and beyond. Despite how things might look at times, and there will still be trials & tribulations to be faces, remember we CAN overcome them, and we WILL overcome them if we have to.

If you found yourself saying "We're in 2010, now what?" Well, I guess it's time you go find out what the Now What is gonna be. I'm gonna go take myself for a walk into Now What, now.

This year has been one of the most interesting years I've ever experienced.  I've sung for a lot of people, I've found my place at a new school, I'm another 30+ hours closer to finishing my (undergrad) degree, I've met many people, made a couple of really good friends, become an "aunt", grown more into myself.  While I can say that this last semester was the most difficult semester I've ever had at school, I can also say I've learned a great deal and that it has set me up well for this coming year.

What to do in 2010?  There isn't really a theme for this list, unless it's "becoming closer to the person I want to be"...and aren't all resolution lists like that to a certain degree?

-I will learn how to decorate a cake.  This year, I relearnt the art of baking a cake, and while that still needs some practice, I think I can say that I can create a fairly scrumptious cake by now.  The next step, it seems, will be to make it look as pretty as it tastes.  Nothing fancy--I don't see tiers happening anytime soon--but some scrolling/scalloping/flowers would be neat.

-I will book-cross at least twelve books.

-I will learn how to give myself a proper manicure, complete with nail polish.  I usually have my nails filed and shaped, and often buff them, but I still can't seem to paint them without getting the polish all messy.

-I will read three Shakespearean plays.  One will be "The Merchant of Venice".  The others will be picked up as I go along.

-I will not buy a pair of shoes unless they are comfortable and, excepting walking sneakers, purty/magnificent/gorgeous.  Life is too short for torturous or ugly shoes.

-I will put up two quality posts per week on here.  Other items may be posted, but not that many people have a strong desire to know my schedule for the day.  Sure, such posts help me organize my thoughts and priorities, but I suspect that most people (please correct me if I'm wrong) come here for the customer service posts, with a smattering of those interested in my book posts.  Two posts per week seems doable on my school/work schedule.

-This is related to the previous resolution, but it's a little more specific: I will post a bit more often about frugal living, careful saving, and cheap-but-good cooking.  I've become more interested in these things over the last year, and while "throw a bunch of stuff in the crockpot" often has tasty results, not everyone knows what foods and what quantities to add.  I, for one, need to look up some more recipes to play around with, and perhaps these recipes might help other people. I know that reading other blogs that offer real-life suggestions on this sort of thing has helped me a great deal.

-I will become more of a bookseller and less of a retail drone.  I've had several opportunities in the last few weeks to really booksell, rather than just mindlessly fill requests or ring a register.  To me, bookselling means actively helping someone discover a great read, and I genuinely love that aspect of my job.  One can't booksell to every or even most customers, mind you; most customers want a brain-dead and personality-devoid utilitarian retail drone who would be just as in place bagging groceries at Walmart as she would be in a bookshop.  Still, there are some out there who want to meet a real bookseller when they walk into a book store, and I'll do my best to fill that role.   It's good for me, because it brings some sorely-needed interest and joy to my job, and I think it's good for a real lover of books to meet a real bookseller once in a while.

-Finally, and most importantly, I will spend more time in a practice room, and the time I spend in there will be sancrosanct.  It will be made, and it will be spent in learning and developing and--dare I say it?--enjoying this magical thing called music rather than stressing over deadlines and work and assignments.

I will try to do a post every month or two in which I check in on these resolutions.  Should be interesting (to me, at least) to see how well I keep up on them.

ETA: while typing tags for this post, I had what was either an utterly demented or absolutely marvelous idea for a post series.  What think you of a monthly "Shoes and Shakespeare" feature in which lovely shoes are paired with a Shakespeare quote?  And wouldn't that be a fantastic name for a blog?   If I only had time for another blog, I would snap that name up so fast...

Ohes noes....

Ohes Noes !!!

Linky

I can't feel my tail anymore !!!

This diva will leave for northern Illinois on Tuesday.  Thank heavens--and I do--for marvelous friends who are willing to brave airport traffic/provide a spare bed.  Likewise, I am very grateful for a store manager who, when told of family illness and correspondingly to-be-missed shifts, simply says, "I'm so sorry.  Go, I'll take care of your shifts, and keep me updated if you need to be there longer than you think."

Spoke with Dad today, and he's considered stable.  The reported surgery for next week isn't going to happen--some sort of miscommunication between health staff and family members.  Still, it will be good to see him; he shouldn't be sitting alone in a hospital.  Blogging will be light during this trip (who am I kidding?  Blogging has been light for weeks, if not months!) but may occur as the hospital's cafeteria is reported to have free wifi. 

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Last night, I went to the First Friday event at the Flat Iron Arts Building here in Chicago. It was a good way to spend New Years Day, checking out the collected works of various local Artist. As I was wandering through the building I stumbled upon the studio of photographer Bernard Colbert. After a brief conversation with Bernard, and his friend & Muse, Kelly, I asked if I could snap a few shots of them. Here they are. If you ever have a first Friday of the month that you want to get out & about in, checkout http://www.wpbfirstfriday.com.

My father has diabetes, and is in generally poor health aside from that.  He fell a couple of weeks ago, and has reported that breathing has hurt somewhat ever since.  I call and talk to him usually around once a week, but have talked to him a couple of times a week since he fell.  A few days ago, he saw fit to mention that a) he had eaten almost nothing over the last couple of weeks, that b)he hadn't been drinking anything for the last few days, and that oh, by the way, c) he only just noticed a (by the description, pretty ghastly) wound on his foot.

I strongly suggested that he needed to see a doctor.

He decided the next day to go see one, and eventually ended up in the ER.  He was admitted for the infected foot, high blood sugar, dehydration...the list goes on.  Yesterday evening, he had half of his left foot amputated to try to stop the infection.  The surgeon thought he'd probably gotten everything, but that we'd know a lot better in 24-48 hours.

I just heard that the wound is positive for staph, and it seems that they must think it's spreading again.  They'll be doing more surgery in the next few days.  How much more of the foot and/or leg will be removed is uncertain.

My parents live about a thousand miles away from where I live.  As of this moment, I am not going up there.  There is nothing--for now--that I can do there that I can't do from here.  I'm sure the nurses and doctors are quite competent, and he's getting good care.  Obviously, this sort of situation changes quickly, so I may yet be heading  north at some point in the near future.

Frankly, folks, I'm scared.  Cancel that: I'm terrified.  My father could die.  I feel very old, very lonely.  I'm in that horrible place where I keep thinking "I could have told him to go in sooner" or "I should have listened more carefully" or even "I should have asked him if he's checking his feet", even though I know intellectually that all these things are not my responsibility, that they are his responsibility and, to an extent, the responsibility of those with whom he lives.  I can't stop thinking that a world without my father would be a very, very lonely place for this diva, even though we live so far apart.  I can't help but think that if he were gone I would have no family I can call and tell about the good or bad stuff that happens to me.  Yes, that's selfish...but that's where I am.  Dad's someone to whom I can talk about school, about the crazies at work, about the Yankees and the Black Sox and history and a home we both miss and pizza and fish and New England.  Don't get me wrong: things have been far from perfect over the years.  If this were an ideal situation (I'm not going to go into details, but family dynamics are pretty strange), I would be up there.  As it is, I know he knows I love him.  A few years ago, I wrote him a letter in which I explained all the reasons I love him, and described all the things that he's done for me that've meant so much, whether it was introducing me to the world of used books or taking me to an ice rink or watching romantic comedies with Louis Armstrong singing away in the background. 

I have no regrets.  I know he knows how much I love him.  For now, I'm calling every day and sometimes twice a day.  If they can get this staph infection under control, he'll recover.  He'll be in a wheelchair for at least a few months, and, depending on the extent of the eventual amputation, perhaps longer.  Best case scenario is a wheelchair for 2-3 months.  Worst is...obvious.  The outcome can be anywhere in between those two.

If you could keep him in your prayers and thoughts, it would be most appreciated by this diva. 

Thanks, all of you, for "listening." 

Yeah, the lift tickets are kinda expensive....

Board Hog

Linky Thing

What the hey...I'll work like a dog on Monday....

What's your New Year's resolution for 2010?

 

My resolution is to laugh more than I cry, to soar more than I fall, and to true to know far more joy than sadness in the new year.