16 posts tagged “hope”

I keep speaking out and speaking out and speaking out
and making people think
about the things they do that
are not quite right
and everyone gets angry
because they're guilty?
because they have to change some darkness?
shady corners?
I am tired of speaking out and speaking out and speaking out
making people think
about the the things they do that
are not quite right
and sometimes I get angry
because I have to speak
and show light
in darkness
and shady corners
I sometimes wish that I
could be
silent....

"Tell God all that is in your heart, as one unloads one's heart, its pleasures and its pains, to a dear friend. Tell Him your troubles, that He may comfort you; tell Him your joys, that He may sober them; tell Him your longings, that He may purify them; tell Him your dislikes, that He may help you to conquer them; talk to Him of your temptations, that He may shield you from them; show Him the wounds of your heart, that He may heal them; lay bare your indifference to good, your depraved tastes for evil, your instability. Tell Him how self-love makes you unjust to others, how vanity tempts you to be insincere, how pride disguises you to yourself as to others. If you thus pour out all your weaknesses, needs, troubles, there will be no lack of what to say. You will never exhaust the subject. It is continually being renewed. People who have no secrets from each other never want for subjects of conversation. They do not weigh their words, for there is nothing to be held back; neither do they seek for something to say. They talk out of the abundance of the heart, without consideration, just what they think. Blessed are they who attain to such familiar, unreserved intercourse with God."
--Fenelon

This morning I was reading Proverbs 31 about the virtuous woman. Today when I read it something caught my eye and challenged me to a new way of thinking. Always before I marveled at this genuinely good woman and made up my mind to imitate her. I read about her husband but I was always so busy pondering her goodness that I never gave him full thought. Today I stopped and thought in depth about what verse 23 says:

**Proper
1 a: referring to one individual only b: belonging to one : own c: appointed for the liturgy of a particular day d: represented heraldically in natural color
2: belonging characteristically to a species or individual : peculiar
3chiefly dialect : good-looking, handsome
4: very good : excellent
5chiefly British : utter, absolute
6: strictly limited to a specified thing, place, or idea proper>
7 a: strictly accurate : correct barchaic : virtuous, respectable c: strictly decorous : genteel
8: marked by suitability, rightness, or appropriateness : fit

right now today this moment i feel so useless
so dumped on
so put out so stupid
if i look at my past
there is no good that I see in me
at all
just a mess
messes
upon
messes
upon
messes
and right now I'm trying to change all that
go the right way this time
but skeletons come to haunt me
reaching out at me
out of all the closets
i've stuffed them in
and tried to keep them in
and tried to hide them in
from prying eyes
that see no matter what
today i'm opening the doors
letting them fall out
leaving the doors open
i'm tired
tired of stuffing
keeping and
hiding
skeletons
those friends who are still around
after the opening
will be proof
that they are the ones
who truly love me
skeletons
or
not

They cannot see what disgusting is

They refuse to see it

They cloak blindness with self righteousness and imaginary mercy

I know their mercy is imaginary

there's never any for me

Have you ever really thought about how greatly loved we are? Think about it. The Great Creator of all things sent the only son He had to this dark earth to save us. Who are we? Dusty little disrespectful children who think we know the best way to go. Who is He? A Father who greatly loves us. When I think about it I tremble and the tears come because it's an overwhelming thought to be loved so much. Thank you Heavenly Father, thank you Jesus. Help me to love.

"There is a right time and a right way for everything,
       yet people often have many troubles.
They do not know what the future holds,
       and no one can tell them what will happen.
No one can control the wind
       or stop his own death. 
No soldier is released in times of war,
       and evil does not set free those who do evil."

                                                 King Solomon

fly away little bird before it is too late

before he breaks the golden cage

before he breaks your wing

before he breaks both wings

and it's too late to fly

and all that you can do is sing

and hope somebody hears your song 

before your words are gone