This morning I was reading Proverbs
31 about the virtuous woman. Today when I read it something caught my
eye and challenged me to a new way of thinking. Always before I
marveled at this genuinely good woman and made up my mind to imitate
her. I read about her husband but I was always so busy pondering her
goodness that I never gave him full thought. Today I stopped and
thought in depth about what verse 23 says:
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Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
***
How
could I have missed that? I' have been asking Heavenly Father what
exactly constitutes a good man. My heart is unreliable, deceitful above
all things, and desperately wicked. I can make myself believe
everything good about anything if I want it bad enough. What I imagined
to be a "good" man continuously fell short of Heavenly Father's
standard. I have been thinking and thinking about this for quite a few
weeks and Heavenly Father was kind enough to show me the wisdom that I
needed. My conclusion: A
good man is respected. He has the respect of people who are leaders.
They value his opinions, his way of dressing, his ethics, his treatment
of his family, his standards, what he has to say, everything that he
is. They respect him because he is respectable. He has high standards.
He is kind. He does not think of his wife as a sex object or a trophy.
He respects her. He loves her because she is good. He loves his
children. He loves people. He has a job that is respectable and worthy
of honor. He works everyday and works hard. He does not expect a woman
to carry him. He takes full responsibility for his family. He respects
his wife's feelings. He comes home and acknowledges the existence of
his children. When he talks to his children and plays with them he is
gentle with them and genuinely enjoys interacting with them. He is
respectable! I have to
face it my standards have been low. I have allowed myself to think
highly of men who do not possess even half of these standards. I have
smoothed things over in my mind. Fantasized, made myself believe that
somehow time will make everything alright. Telling myself "this guy is
not so bad he will change if I'm good", as if "good" is contagious and
can be caught like an illness. What am I thinking? Heavenly Father's
standards are high. They are not caught, happened upon , learned at the
last minute. They are lived and most definitely lived more then, "three
long weeks". What have I been thinking? This is a matter of happiness
or endless disappointment. How could I have missed it seeing that I
have read Proverbs 31 so many times? I
have come to believe that it has been due to the condition of my heart.
I have been deceiving myself and not believing that there could
possibly be anyone left who is absolutely respectable. I've been
wanting to settle because I have wanted a man right now instead of
wanting to wait for Heavenly Father's timing and respectable man.
Respectable, that is the standard! Respectable! And in case you are
anything like me and need a detailed, exhaustive description of what
respectable means here it is straight from Merriam-Webster:** Respectable
1: worthy of respect : estimable
2: decent or correct in character or behavior : proper
** Respect
1: a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation respect to an earlier plan>
2: an act of giving particular attention : consideration
3 a: high or special regard : esteem b: the quality or state of being esteemed
** Estimable
1: capable of being estimated estimable amount>
2archaic : valuable
3: worthy of esteem
**Proper
1 a: referring to one individual only b: belonging to one : own c: appointed for the liturgy of a particular day d: represented heraldically in natural color
2: belonging characteristically to a species or individual : peculiar
3chiefly dialect : good-looking, handsome
4: very good : excellent
5chiefly British : utter, absolute
6: strictly limited to a specified thing, place, or idea proper>
7 a: strictly accurate : correct barchaic : virtuous, respectable c: strictly decorous : genteel
8: marked by suitability, rightness, or appropriateness : fit
***
